Today is my 19th birthday.

I was born March 18th 1990.

This morning, my mom wakes me up at 2:00am in the morning.

She says "Ryker, I am taking your father to the Emergency Room, he can't breathe and we are leaving. Keep the phone close to you I will call you in a little while."
I am in shock because my dad isn't breathing. A normal person breathes. So this was all in bad news for the beginning of my 19th birthday.

2 hours later, my mother calls me from the hospital... With stiffness and sadness in my mothers voice she shudders "Your father has pneumonia... And he's going into the Cardiac Care Unit." "...He's having a heart attack?!:" mother says quickly "No, he's going into the CCU too see if this could be heart related, just too see if he'll be okay with his heart, they are doing an Ultrasound on his heart and leg to see if there could be any clotting." "Wonderful..." "Ryker do a little prayer for your father... And I'm really sorry that this had to happen on your birthday..." She then started to cry over the phone.

I said that these things happen at the most random of times, I am an adult now I can say that not everything will go as planned on my birthday. This is why I am glad that I wasn't spoiled as a kid.
I was spoiled with love, and only love. This is why I am glad to have a family that talks, even if it's in anger. There is always love behind their words. No matter how we bicker or argue, there is unconditional love behind these arguments.

My name is Ryker Laurence Wilson, I believe that my name shall go down in history (no matter what it is) because of my loving family.
Now that my father is in his room sleeping off the drugs he was pumped full of, I can only begin to hope that everything is alright and he will get through this if he does what he is suppose to do.

It's the strangest feeling, having someone you love so much, who you've known all your life be in so much pain and hurt.
It's the strangest feeling to have your father go through such shitty times.
Hopefully he'll be fine, and all we will have to deal with is the medical bills.

Money isn't an issue at this current time.
We will have him all fixed up and feeling better very soon (hopefully).

It's the strangest thing, that my birthday everything turns to shit.
It's not because I was born. It was the timing of everything.

Everything is different and older
People growing weak and some stronger
How does man kind hold on
When the health care is flawed
Why does it matter if we are insured
Even when we are insured, still 2000$ isn't something we can pull out of our ass.
Seriously what the fuck.

Every year is different.
Differences are really starting to piss me off.
Sometimes a guy wants regularity ya know?
But oh well. Everything is going to be different everyday.

So far nothing was gotten for me for my birthday besides 2 awesome paintings done by my loving girlfriend Whitney-Chan, a shirt I got from my brother... a belt and a poster. That's pretty much it.

Pretty awesome stuff though, still today has SUCKED.
I really hope my father is okay.
It's a pretty sweet shirt.

Starving but no appetite to eat.